Inconclusive (3)

I love writing these mini reviews. It takes a lot of time to give you a comprehensive, in-depth write up of a match. That being said, I do need to write more of those. I have a couple on the backburner but I've been very busy lately with my personal life (all good things, fortunately!) that I just haven't been able to dedicate the time to Featured Move posts, let alone match reviews.

Despite my lack of time, I can throw together some smaller reviews for a collection of matches that fit my niche wrestling interests so well. For those unaware of the Inconclusive series of mini reviews, I like to highlight three matches which end in a mutual knockout. It's the best ending to a wrestling match for my little desires, and I know a few of you share that interest. I actually have a page dedicated to listing all the matches that end in this way. If you know of any others please contact me, I'd love to check it out. It's updated regularly, so keep checking back for more if I happen to come across any.

Anyway, on with the reviews!

Custom Long Brawl! 1hour match 100kg vs 105kg

If you have a generic interest in big sweaty men tearing each other to pieces, then this match is going to one you should add to your collection. Of the paid matches on their channel (matches you have to pay to watch) it is easily their most popular. Jeff (bearded) and Andrew (clean-shaven) don't mess around with their video titles. You get what's advertised plus a bucket full of sweat. This match could easily fit into one of the Sweat-Soaked Spectacles set of mini reviews, but I've already done that for another of their matches (which could also easily fit into this set of reviews).

There's so much to like in this match: several catfight elements, the primal grunts and groans, the intensity, just to name a few. As the title indicates, Jeff and Andrew are pretty big guys and the room is tiny. They don't leave its confines for the duration of the match, instead shoving each other and rolling wall-to-wall for just over 60 grueling minutes. Pieces of the shaggy carpet get stuck to their slick bodies as they sprawl across the ground together. The camera keeps its distance, almost exclusively staying within the room's doorframe, but it captures all the action well.

Jeff and Andrew treat us and each other to a variety of headscissors, bearhugs, hair pulls, strangles, and a whole lot of intense grumbling. They're a wonderful match for each other, as evidenced by this and their other battles. The final moments of this battle are home to a glorious extended strangle between them. Whoever commissioned this match, thank you.

VJ337 Stalemate: Ashton vs Keanu

This Untamed Creations production features their two resident hunks, Ashton (brown hair) and Keanu (blond hair). They have an impressive history together, constantly working with and against each other across many products. I say this a lot, but extensive history between two opponents makes the match so much better to me.

The match begins with Ashton ambushing Keanu outside then quickly carrying him into the mat room. What follows is a thrilling back and forth battle between two evenly-matched, smoking hot guys. They lay into each other with all sorts of moves. As viewers we are treated to simple things like hair pulls and gut punches, all the way to more difficult but equally entertaining Ezekiel chokes and camel clutches. There are many others too, but those are some highlights. 

The moves are well-executed and the camera captures the action very well. The comfort between Ashton and Keanu is clear as they brawl all over the room. They even use props like a small table and a punching bag to assist in the beatdown. There are moments in this match which make it feel choreographed, but those are few and far between in my opinion. This is an excellent match for anyone wanting to see variety, a vicious rivalry, and a great double knockout.

Tank vs. Mark Muscle

Tank (black thong) and Mark Muscle (orange thong) are immense men. At the time of filming it was stated both men were clocking in at 6'4, 300 lbs. The prospect of such a match is mouth-watering. Each hit should sound like thunder and feel like a moving train, and at times it feels like it. 

Mark Muscle has lots of experience going into this match, having a number of videos for Wrestler4Hire, Thunders Arena, and Muscle Domination Wrestling under his belt. Tank is fairly new, having filmed one or two matches at Thunders Arena many years before, and only a handful for Wrestler4Hire before this one.

They begin with an intense stare down, chest-to-chest. Two immovable objects facing off lock hands in a test of strength for the ages. Or at least it should be. There's a lot of grumbling and dialogue that reminds me of those strange porn movies that try to have a plot beyond the sex. This continues into the double bearhug. The visuals of this match are great in between all the very obvious glances at the camera. It feels awkward and sometimes sluggish. However, there's still plenty to enjoy. There are some glorious rolling mutual headscissors, some great cheap shots, and a whole lot of sweat (especially towards the end). Visually, there's a lot to like despite the match's shortcomings. The shot of these two lying on the ground next to each other is especially good in my opinion.