Wrestling and Relationships: An Interview with Ash DeLeon

Navigating through any community, especially a queer one, can be a daunting and lonely task. The obvious way to combat that feeling of loneliness is to have someone by your side. Having a partner (or partners) to help you through the ins and outs of establishing yourself in an already expansive network is a huge benefit. But why is queer love in the world of underground wrestling apparently so rare?

I'm sure many of you grew up with the memes and jokes that called wrestling and mixed martial arts "gay" as if it were a negative thing. Pictures of big pro wrestlers in "compromising" positions were mocked online by just about anyone. Of course, 'gay' being used as a derogatory term wasn't exclusive to wrestling. But for me at least, that's where some of my attachment to the sport began.

As someone who generally sits outside of the community, my knowledge is fairly surface level. I want this blog to be a safe learning space, for both readers and myself, as well as a place to simply appreciate online underground wrestling and the people who take part.

Someone who was eager to share his experiences of underground wrestling and relationships is Ash DeLeon. This post was actually his idea and came about after he kindly agreed to answer some of my questions about gut punching. This time he answered my questions about wrestling, relationships, and how they've come together in his life. It's a long one, so get cozy, get warm, and get reading!

Ash, for BG East, circa 2021

I guess we should start at the beginning. When did you get into wrestling? Further to that, when did you realise it was more than just an 'interest'? After that realisation, how often was it something that came up in your dating life?

Well this answer is probably very similar to many others, it started when I was watching WWF and also when it became WWE! There was always a... weird sensation I would get watching them. And I always kept that a secret from my family for that exact reason.

Then, flash-forward to when I was a teen and figured out more of my gut punching fetish I found NRW (it was a match with Drake being gutpunched), BG East (Gutbash 5 with Steven Thomas and KV!) And finally UCW, (it was a match of Axel being gutpunched!)

part of the "Drake Demolished" series on NRW

That's when I found out erotic wrestling would be a big fetish of mine!

I had 4 relationships (post me coming out) my first one, I did eventually tell him. He took it... ok. He ridiculed me a bit though and that wasn't great. We broke up not too long after that. My second relationship was my worst. This was post me working at UCW for a short time. I shared everything with him eventually and it did not go well... to Start, he treated it like I had an addiction and he had me stop cold turkey. He accused me of cheating on him with my MeetFighters profile. He even once logged into some of my socials (like Skype) and messaged guys I would talk to, telling them "I am his boyfriend and he has been doing this behind my back".

Ash used to wrestler for UCW under the name "Pedro Espada"
(from "Match 320: Michael Hannigan vs Pedro Espada")

Time went on and we talked more and more. He tried to "fulfill" my needs with trying to wrestling and gutpunch him and I... just didn't want to at all. 0 interest. Then he let me go out to do one meet, when I came back he didn't talk to me and also didn't want me to touch him, he couldn't even look at me. Eventually we decided to try a poly-relationship with an old co-worker of mine who was bi. Eventually, things got very ugly. My jealousy was one of them, however, when I straight up asked my bf if he was in love with the other guy and he said yes. I followed up with asking if he loved me and he said no. So that was that. It was an ugly break up after that.

My third was a long distance. At this point I made a vow that I wouldn't start a relationship unless that person already knew what I do/did (I was in BG East already at this time). He was... ok with it but placed rules on me if I was to continue. (No kissing, fucking, or touching his naked dick)

This was hard cause these were all things I like doing in some of my matches. It got even more difficult when I did my next bg shoot and I was a camera man for an X rated match. My ex was bothered by it, which I didn't really understand since I only took pics and wasn't a participant of this at all. (Mind you I told him about BG East itself so he knew how erotic the matches can get)

Then finally I my current relationship with Freddy Campbell and I couldn't be happier!

Ash and Freddy, as many would expect, get on famously
(from BG East's "Wrestle Revenge 2: Boyfriend on the Rampage")

It's always interesting to me when people discuss the origins of their wrestling fascination, and how that then develops into more 'specialized' fetishes.
With regards to your relationships, thank you for being so forthcoming and detailed in your answers. I'm sorry to hear that you went through some really tough times on the road to where you are now. It's great to know that you're now in a happy place with Freddy, which brings me onto my next questions.
How did you and Freddy meet, and what initially attracted you to him?

You also mentioned that you learned from previous relationships to be more upfront with your interest in wrestling. How did that impact you first entering a relationship with Freddy?

Absolutely! I don't mind being vulnerable for the sake of letting others know that they aren't alone. Because I am willing to bet I am not the only one who faced these kinds of situations in their relationships and kinks 'colliding' so I am hoping sharing my stories may help others know that, yeah this can happen. And it may suck but it will be ok. Learn from experiences and pain 👊🏼

Ah so the big story on how Freddy and I met. It is an interesting one. So IDK if many know of 'fetlife' but he and I believe we met on there or recon about 8 years ago! We chatted on and off, it didn't go too far to be honest. While we were only a state away, I was a broke college kid and basically so was he. So splitting a hotel for a meet up wasn't in our budgets. But at the time he really only had kinks in both wedgies and spanking. Both of which weren't really big kinks for me.... yet 😉

So he actually knew my kinks off from my profiles bios lol (and also learned of my debuts in UCW and BGE, he was a major fan of the gay wrestling scene, he followed all the companies quite closely already) so my kinks were present front and center for him.

We kept communicating on and off until January of 2020... then we finally decided to meet in February of 2020. I offered for him to meet me and one of my bestie's Kayden Keller. Unfortunately I had a procedure done so I couldn't wrestle however, I hung out with him nonetheless and watched him wrestle Kayden.

That was a Friday, he then came back the next day and I gave him a private squash and we had a really great connection! I remember coming back to my home and thinking "I dunno something about that guy..."

Then March of 2020 happened and the world came to a standstill. Quarantine was in full effect and I caught covid from work and was pretty sick for about 2 months. In that time he checked on me almost everyday, showing a lot of genuine concern, which did not go unnoticed by me. He gave me his passwords to the DC app and I got to past my time being sick watching a lot of shows on there because of him!

Once the quarantine started to ease up a lil in June Freddy would come visit me. It was a quaint stay at a local hotel but it was (yes I know it's corny) magical! We connected very intimately both physically and emotionally. And at that time I knew... this could work.

The biggest conversations I had to had before I asked "the question" was 2 things. One I had to warn him if we do become boyfriends that he should be warned that I am a TERRIBLE Ex 😅 and 2) that while I can't do a poly-relationship I did want an open one where we can have our erotic wrestling meets/hook ups and be comfortable with coming home with each other. In the end we agreed on a "consensual non-monogamous" relationship. Where we are open to have sex and erotic matches with others, and will always come back home to each other. Cause you is, home is where the heart is ❤️ And it has worked out extremely well for the past 3 years! 🤗

How you were able to develop and sustain your connection during the pandemic is amazing! It's great that you were so open with each other from the jump as well. How did that openness with Freddy affect you both when you began wrestling with each other?

You also mentioned that you agreed on a "consensual non-monogamous relationship", which works especially well for erotic wrestling meetups. Was there ever some kind of adjustment period in getting used to that kind of dynamic?

That line of communication helped us establish a true connection when we wrestled! Almost like that opening scene in Shang Chi! (I know that's cheesy lol) we really clicked, had a very very hot private match that led to intense, yet passionate sex for a happy ending! 😊

And in regards to the adjustment to the dynamic of our openness. Not really. It was exactly what I wanted, we have done very well on communicating upcoming sessions or meet ups and also sharing what happens if we play separately. Our main ground rule is communication. That's all really. Yeah there have been times where one of us tells the other we really want intimate time so we block out that time frame.

But to be honest I have noticed we play with others guys together, a lot lol. Definitely more times then not we usually have our fun threesomes. And honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. I love experiencing life with him and I mean every aspect of life 🙏🏼🙌🏼

This conversation has been much more heart-warming than I expected, and it's been a joy to have this back-and-forth with you. My final question is a simple one: what advice do you have, if any, for people in the underground wrestling community who are looking for companionship?

Be upfront about your wrestling kink. Whether it is with finding that companionship within or outside of the wrestling community. And what I mean by that is: share what your interests are in your matches. Ideal fantasies, gear?, role (jobber/heel/etc). Just be open about it. If that person truly wants to accompany you on this journey we call life, then they will do it with acceptance of ALL of who you are. Including the kinky side of you 😉 I hope this helps at least one person as they pursue that happiness they seek ^_^

Many thanks once again to Ash for being so open and willing to answer my questions in such a detailed way. My hope is that this post will, at the very least, be of some help to someone out there.